and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
