hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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