i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
