At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you would pick up someone in the library
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
