Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
