Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am naked and annoyed.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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