I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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