It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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