how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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