A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
