Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
