I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
