So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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