so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
