Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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