In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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