HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
