i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
