Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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