Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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