I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
