I have demons in me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
