whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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