What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
