i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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