I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
