i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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