I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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