Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
