Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
