I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
