i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
