It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
