and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize