Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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