Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think your dad took our porno
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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