Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
