Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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