Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize