Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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