..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Vodka?
Forever.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
