I am puke
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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