bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
