What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
