She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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