Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
barbara walters just said penis...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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