I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
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