She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
