I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
