I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
