No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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