she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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