is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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