did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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