he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize