I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize