Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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