I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
