you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
