Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
