Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize