There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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