Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
